26 juin 2011
We agreed to rob a small clothes' shop in Goethe Street. Jackie and her brother will invade into the store just before it's closing time. I will be outside, in the backyard, waiting for them and just in case somebody would see us and decide to call the cops.
Jackie's brother - D'Angelo - done that before a couple of times with his street gang. D'Angelo was the first person we thought of when decided to do this. I just hate that word - robbery. So I use words like that thing instead. Robbery - so tacky, makes me feel like I'm some kind of a drug-addict, a ROBBER who desperately needs money for a dose of coke.
D'Angelo was tall, dark-haired and brown-eyed man. Of course, he was beautiful. Funny, also. And intelligent indeed. But he was also my best friend's brother. So even thinking of him that way wouldn't be right.
It was the night before. I was extremely nervous. What if somebody sees us? What if somebody calls cops? We have no family connections in police or in court or some place like that. We would spend our youth in jail. Even though, it wasn't my first time I commited a crime. When I was about seventeen or eighteen - it doesn't matter right now - me and couple of my friends from the same street I lived in, tried to steal some Cola and chips from the local gas station shop. As it turned out, shop's owner was a friend of my mom, so he dropped his charges against us. I will never forget how my mom looked at me when she found out. I was so embarresed. I felt awful, like a biggest criminal - number one public enemy - while I was standing in front of her with tears in my eyes.
- Camille, promise me this will be l'ultima volta.
- Mi prometti, mamma.
Yes, my mom and I sometimes would speak Italian. My father was from Italy, a small town called Lecce. Damiano De Luca - was my father's name. Of course he married my mom because he just wanted to get a permission to live here. But she loved him so much. Too much.
So, Jackie, D'Angelo and I packed our stuff for tommorow. Guns - three revolvers - check. Caps and sunglasses - this was silly, we didn't have masks - check. Gloves - in case we'd lost our guns, this way we wouldn't leave our fingerprints on them - check. That was it. I had to prepare emotionally. I prayed a little prayer.
Padre Nostro che sei nei cieli...
I fell asleep at a break of dawn. It was four o'clock. It was already almost light outside. I heard cars driving. People talking. Jackie and her brother breathing. Pull yourself together, Camille - I said to myself. Don't be a pussy. That's not how your brothers raised you.